Confessions Of A Serial Killer
Occasionally, friends or my mother would ask how I manage to continually move forward despite the frequent obstacles thrown my way.
It took a while to formulate an adequate answer that made sense even to myself until I came across the movie, 'Monster', a docu-drama about serial killer Aileen Carol Wuornos Pralle who murdered 7 men in the U.S. at point blank range.
It dawned on me I had done the same thing along my journey, although in a different context.
I had metaphorically slaughtered a myriad of innocents on my way to the Pamela I am today. Allow me to clarify.
As you may or may not be aware, we slide through many manifestations and personas as we mature ie; daughter, son, wife, husband, employee, employer, heavy, skinny, courageous, entrepreneur etc.
Perhaps we were even genius in some of the roles we played yet not until we began to chafe either at the emptiness or futility of those roles, did we take the necessary steps to move on to a new place in life.
When my time came to grow to a new state of consciousness, choices were made that culminated in saying goodbye to the following versions of myself:
good girl Pamela
newspaper columnist Pamela
swallow it whole Pamela
Oh ya, a mighty slaughter took place. Not all at once of course. It took time, awareness, effort and a strong hold on myself which involved scaffolding my emotions with power by daily reciting (at times out loud), 'I love myself'.
Those words turned out to be my saving grace.
You see, I had become complacent in my former roles. Inherently, there was nothing wrong with any of those things but for me and where I was headed, they were the obstacles blocking the way to my next evolution.
Harsh? Perhaps, but life is not always easy and fair no matter how much we'd like to think so. Change continues to spiral out in all directions at lightening speed and the realities of what it takes to keep on the march with those changes require that we wake and grow up.
Because we are being called to do the necessary work of uncloaking the power of our genius-identity in order to serve ourselves and others.
Who am I now?
I am 'Mojomaker Pamela'. I use my energy to switch on the latent power and magic in others, if they so desire.
There will come a time when I will have to kill her too. Don't worry, when the time comes, I'll euthanize her in the most loving of ways (if possible) ;)
What about you?
What current version of yourself holds back your next-level experience? Find it, make the decision to lay it to rest then get on with the business of growing.